DRESSING TEST:
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag
making sure that all arms stay inside.
FEEDING
TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk
jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout
cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal
(such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the
floor.
NIGHT TEST:
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of
sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum
with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for
10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever
heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set
alarm for
5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years.
Look cheerful.
PHYSICAL TEST ( WOMEN ) :
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
PHYSICAL TEST ( MEN ) :
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the
clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the
head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to
the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the
last time.
FINAL EXAM ASSIGNMENT :
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they
can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and
child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to
them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this
experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
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