Those of you with children
will probably find this humorous. Those
without children might decide to think twice!
MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.
Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST:
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos. Have a friend spread them all over the house.
Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not
scream (This could wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST:
Borrow one or two small animals (sheep are best) and take them with you
as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST:
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag
making sure that all arms stay inside.
FEEDING
TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk
jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout
cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal
(such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the
floor.
NIGHT TEST:
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of
sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum
with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for
10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever
heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set
alarm for
5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years.
Look cheerful.
PHYSICAL TEST ( WOMEN ) :
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
PHYSICAL TEST ( MEN ) :
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the
clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the
head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to
the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the
last time.
FINAL EXAM ASSIGNMENT :
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they
can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and
child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to
them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this
experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
Supplying the best in family entertainment. Inspirational and
educational stories, poems,
games and music. Share the best in photography with those you love. Send someone a smile
or an email hug, celebrating our love for each other and honoring our veterans.
